1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED – We are still pissing in the wind.
2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM – We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION – We know who to blame.
4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH – It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.
5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED – We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.
6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE – The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING – We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.
8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED – The only person who understood the thing quit.
9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS – It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.
10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT – Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL – Let’s spread the responsibility for the screw up.
12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING – We’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn’t interfere with what we’ve already done.
13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION – I can’t wait to hear this bull!
14. SEE ME or LET’S DISCUSS – Come into my office, I’m lonely.
15. ALL NEW – Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.
16. RUGGED – Too damn heavy to lift!
17. LIGHTWEIGHT – Lighter than RUGGED.
18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT – One finally worked.
19. ENERGY SAVING – Achieved when the power switch is off.
20. LOW MAINTENANCE – Impossible to fix if broken.