TOP 20 ENGINEERS’ TERMINOLOGIES

1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED – We are still pissing in the wind.

2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM – We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION – We know who to blame.

4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH – It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED – We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.

6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE – The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING – We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.

8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED – The only person who understood the thing quit.

9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS – It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.

10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT – Forget it! We have enough problems for now.

11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL – Let’s spread the responsibility for the screw up.

12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING – We’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn’t interfere with what we’ve already done.

13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION – I can’t wait to hear this bull!

14. SEE ME or LET’S DISCUSS – Come into my office, I’m lonely.

15. ALL NEW – Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.

16. RUGGED – Too damn heavy to lift!

17. LIGHTWEIGHT – Lighter than RUGGED.

18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT – One finally worked.

19. ENERGY SAVING – Achieved when the power switch is off.

20. LOW MAINTENANCE – Impossible to fix if broken.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s