I think to a certain extent Hollywood has taken romantic comedy and stabbed it repeatedly in the heart with shitty movies. Romantic movies tend to spill over into relationships and can create unrealistic expectations of others. . Popular music sings about romance and Hollywood movies celebrate it with a fervor and in a language once reserved for religious devotion. (You’re my all and everything, our love is perfect and eternal, etc.) .Easily identifiable elements of genre do not make story. And worse, I often see those elements used to SELL a story is used to TELL a story.
The girls live in this perception Mr. Right is my soul mate – the one human being on the planet who was specially created to meet all my needs. he’ll also understand me completely, love me unconditionally, forgive all my shortcomings and always know exactly what I feel and want without my ever having to tell him. Seriously it sounds too sweet to Digest.
It’s with all this “Perfection” tag & the comparison between the Movies or novels & the real life , that creates the problem in the first place. Mills & Boons have really grown its deep roots inside this girls’ mind , that makes her keep whining over all things.
As if that was not enough , the guys were served the Plate of : “The Ugly Truth ” , that makes it even more sick . Now that has given rise to the idea that the more cheap & flirty comments you pass, the more cool you are , & that attitude is so unbearable .
It’s like both the parties have planted so different ideas & fantasies of romance , that when they actually come across , there is this invisible friction , and the heat is so suffocating , that draws them apart . And than again , we get to hear those comment from guys :’Girls would never truly understand our idea of love ‘ & than there are girls shouting :’boys are such a jerks, they would never really be capable of love’.
It’s not entirely their faults , this movies , & novels , & the popular love songs have feed them with such unrealistic fantasies , that could never actually happen , people need to understand the real idea of romance. Its not just sending a bouquet of flower , or running to the airport , its much more that that , ofcourse you can use all this movie formulas to enhance your love life , that s good , but the idea of love should not be compared to those watched in movies , or read in novels , expecting the same proposal , celebrating it on the hot air balloon would not make you happy , if you don;t actually feel for the person standing next to you ,so you need to figure out the difference between the perception and the reality .
One more problem adds up to this , Another destructive element of romanticism is that true believers tend to neglect all other aspects of their lives in the pursuit of this one pleasure. It’s as if no other satisfaction in life – friendship, career, travel, service, learning, play, sports, political or community involvement, spirituality – is of any value if the lover is absent.A steady diet of romantic fundamentalism can lead to isolation and emotional malnutrition.
The core problem is that when we expect our relationships to conform to impossible standards, disappointment is inevitable. In the love affairs of most devotees of this religion there is an inevitable crisis, in which one or both parties “fall out” of love because they can no longer ignore the mounting evidence that the partner isn’t “Mr. Right” after all, but a mere mortal. The crisis offers the opportunity to learn to “stand in love” – to let go of the fantasy elements of the relationship and to practice being in partnership with a real human being. But the longing for perfect, “unconditional” love is powerful, and a difficult dream to relinquish.
It isn’t necessary to give up on love to avoid the bad effects of the religion of romance. No one is going to do that anyway, because romantic loveis one of the great delights of life. But if we avoid the mistake of making this experience the one value in life we’re less likely to have wildly unrealistic expectations of what it can provide. We’re less likely to imagine, for instance, that it can eliminate the occasional loneliness that is part of being human, or that it alone is the key to self esteem or a sense of meaning. We can begin to value our time alone as an important oportunity to get to know ourselves. We can approach prospective partners open-eyed, without idealizing them, and without rushing things. We can come to understand that it’s possible to have rich and satisfying lives both when we’re partnered and when we’re single.
I remember this one , Oscar Wilde once said, “In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”
- Love Jones (1997) (myfilmviews.com)