Quotes from a novel ~ Fearless (Ruin 2.5)

You know how you read a novel , and suddenly you have much more better vision of life , the effect it has on you that not even thousand of lectures or workshops had on you , & the urge to implement it in your life…

“Words can be like X-rays if you use them properly — they’ll go through anything. You read and you’re pierced.”
― Aldous HuxleyBrave New World

So here are the quotes from this novel : Fearless by Rachel Van Dyken

“The human heart beats around one hundred thousand times a day. It pumps over two thousand gallons of blood through over sixty miles of blood vessels in any given twenty-four hour period. The physical greatness would be staggering enough, given those facts. But the emotional capacity? Words can’t explain. Doctors can’t describe why certain parts of your heart react to anger, sadness, joy, and love. Why, when you laugh, your heart laughs with you. When you cry, your heart breaks for you. But the most amazing fact of all? How easily we give our heart away even with the knowledge that in another person’s hands you are the most vulnerable you will ever be. “—Wes Michels

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“A love so deep. A love so wide. A love so extravagant—that even death wouldn’t deter me from an eternity by your side. Can you imagine that type of love, Kiersten? Can you fathom it? Well, can you?”—Wes Michels

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“The type of love that makes you want to laugh out loud—scream a bit—run in circles—and then repeat? Yeah that’s how I felt about Wes. Totally. Out. Of. Control. Giddiness.”—Kiersten

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“Plato believed that reasoning originated within the brain, but passion? Passion originated in what he called the fiery heart. Separate from all logic—fueled by blood, driven by passions. I for one, completely side with Plato, how else could I explain the way she made me feel? It went against logic. It went against life. Against death. It was transcendent.” —Wes Michels

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“It’s funny, we all have hearts, but do we ever truly listen to them? 

How often do we hear our hearts and stop to appreciate the fact that it’s been beating solid, strong, for our entire lives? God willing, your heart never stops until you finally die. It beats harder when you’re sick, it beats softer when you sleep, it beats harder again when you’re excited, and sometimes it physically hurts when you’re in pain.

Your heart isn’t just a muscle.

Though I’m sure people would disagree with me.

Your heart is everything. Why else would God ask for it first? I mean, why not ask for your mind? Your soul? Instead, God asks for our hearts. Our significant others ask for our hearts. Family…they ask for our hearts. Friends ask for our hearts.

It’s not just a muscle.

I truly believed that the heart stored the essence of everything a person possessed. The human body didn’t start with the brain or the legs…no…when we were conceived…the first thing doctors searched for?

The heartbeat.

When you get married…you don’t just ask for your wife’s hand. The first thing you search for? Her heart.

When you’re sick. The doctor doesn’t ask about your heart—he listens to it.

Seems to me like we’ve had it wrong all these years.

If you have a heart—I guarantee—there’s someone out there who wants it. Who’s searching for it. Who dreams about it.”

heartbeats & music

 

“Funny, how you think you can be totally over something. And then one tiny little thing happens and immediately you’re back to that place. I wondered if PTSD was like that.

You live your life every day, going through the motions, and then BOOM! Something suddenly happens to throw you off kilter and the only thing you want to do is go sit in a corner and rock back and forth.”

scared

 

 

“Just because you avoid something, doesn’t make it disappear. I think we’d like to imagine life works that way. But I’m sure if I went back home…everything would be just how I left it and I’d be bombarded with the same memories, the same regrets, the giant never really dies Kiersten, not until you throw the damn rock.”

fly

 

 

“I wonder how many times we think our lives are over—how many instances we scream at the top of our lungs when things aren’t going our way…how often, do you think, the reason for things not going our way is because there’s a bigger plan we can’t see yet? A bigger destiny we could have never possibly imagined for ourselves? Maybe…we’d be a lot happier, if we were silent more.” –Wes Michels

destiny

 

 

“Love is often measured unfairly. People throw the word around so flippantly that society rarely gets a true glimpse of what it means to love something—to love someone so much that it’s the basis for your entire existence. To love someone so much that you’d be willing to trade places—even in death. Well, I can’t imagine a stronger type of love than that of sacrifice.”

love

 

 

“We complete our lists together, we complete our life together. This is what we have to look forward to. Blank pages just waiting to be filled with our story. And the cool part? We don’t know what’s going to happen, but I can make a promise to you right now. Your hand’s going to be in mine the entire time. Kiersten, I swear to never let you go. Through sickness, through health, through happy times, through sad times. I’m yours.” – Wes 

…I could have lost my faith in that moment, instead I chose to believe that I couldn’t control the outcome and just trusted in the hand that was holding mine. Sometimes that’s all we have. A hand.

But most the time.

If we’re being completely honest with ourselves.

It’s all we really need…

wedding holding hands

 

 

“Our steps define us—whether they take us in the direction towards what we want the most—or away from what we love. Our entire lives are based on steps and stages. Funny thing, feet. You control them. –Kiersten Michels”

footsteps

 

 

“When you hear bad news it’s like a literal punch to the stomach—no seriously, your body will create a physical response to your emotional trauma. When you’re heartbroken—you’re chest will actually hurt. Doctors believe that it’s possible to die from heartache, kind of makes you wonder the opposite right? Take for example a heart that’s so full, so alive, so vibrant, so—overjoyed, that it decides to skip a beat, pump a little bit longer, a little bit harder, a little bit…more than the way it was created to be. I think that’s my heart—No I know that’s my heart. When I see Kiersten. My heart is the opposite of broken—it’s full.”—Wes Michels

heart

 

 

Skin. Just touching his skin, feeling his warmth, incredible how much it made me want to weep. Like, actually fall down on the ground and sob my eyes out because by touching his skin, by feeling that warmth, I knew he was alive and by knowing he was alive, I realized…being married to him? It was totally real. Funny, how sometimes we need to keep touching things so we know they’re real—even better? That I’d spend the rest of my life touching him, touching Wes Michels. And every touch would remind me, that blood flowed through his veins, that his heart beat strong, that it beat in perfect cadence with mine. —Kiersten

hugging

 

 

“The battle is in your head. The minute you start giving power to those thoughts you’ve already lost. Fear wins. Don’t let fear win, Kiersten. Love—our love—it can’t flourish where fear is present. Do you get what I’m saying?” 

More tears, and then a muffled, “No.”

Chuckling, I squeezed her harder. “This could be my last night on this earth. I could choose to be afraid and hole up in a hotel room or I could live. Remember you always have a choice. Don’t let your mind cripple what your heart already knows to be true.

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Emotions are a funny thing. They drive us to either make good or bad choices, they can either make our day or ruin it. Emotions for the most part cant’ be trusted because a lot of times, they help us justify our own bad behavior. They allow us to stay mad at someone, to take offense, to keep forgiveness at bay because we’ve been hurt or are still hurting. That’s why, I can honestly say, when I look at Kiersten? It’s not my emotions speaking—but my heart. Because the heart is pure in its pursuit—whereas your emotions can cause you to stumble. Why in the hell would I want to stumble in the race towards owning every part of her soul?”—Wes

love her

 

“Love is beautiful. A gift from God. I think it’s sad, how easily we throw around the word without actually understanding the sacrifice behind its meaning. Love in its definition isn’t about a strong feeling towards someone, but an action. If people truly understood what it was—our world would be changed. Love is sacrifice, it’s holding someone’s hand even though you know they can’t feel it, like Gabe did with Kimmy. Love’s watching someone lose all their hair, and still finding them to be the most beautiful person you’ve ever come across. Love is more action than feeling…Love, isn’t just the way Wes looks at me, but the way he serves everyone around him as if he is nothing—and they are everything.”—Mrs. Weston Michels”

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“The thing about memories? They store in your brain. You can go a lifetime thinking you’re totally fine and then boom, something triggers said memory and all of a sudden you’re in the fetal position. My memory had always been really good—something I hated about myself because right now, I really, really wanted to have amnesia. —Lisa”

memories

 

And ending it with my own words … you should chase your dreams , fall in love head over heels coz there is no point in loving with half heart , don’t let the world deicde your fate , and smile coz you are worth it … you deserve happiness … live life to fullest .

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Down the rabbit hole …..

Its interesting how sometimes what you have watched , remains in your memory , & randomly flashes in your brain …until than you didn’t realized how much more to the story was…

There was this episode I watched of Supernatural series , the episode was called My Bloody Valentine … & I never gave it much thought , the words and the plot had so much depth. It goes like this , everyone was infected with famine , & the hunger got the better of them , except for one: DEAN; the reason why he was not affected by the hunger was simple , his soul was dead inside , there was this large hole that couldn’t be filled, & emptiness was all he had, no desire , no wishes , no hunger….

 

falling in abyss

 

Its different than the feeling of contentment its like you are falling down the rabbit hole ,& you don’t have anything to hold on to, you just keep falling indefinitely & consumed by more emptiness as you fall more deeply,you lose track of time , everything around you keeps moving & you just cant make anything of it.

The light starts fading & darkness starts pulling you from every side you don’t feel desire for anything , you are getting too cold , too numb , to feel the excitement for anything, everything feels quite , but this is not the comfortable silence , no its the sign of falling into abyss….

The key to it is wake up,its not easy, you need a very strong impulse,a powerful force to pull you out, that will startle you ,and you better do it before you hit the bottom , coz once you hit it, you might recover , but never fully , the injury you will have might be too severe to ever recover completely….

The grief of losing someone forever ….

Losing someone

 

“My Life is perfect , Luck is in my Favor  , What more could I ask from God …” my friend said.

“I am so happy for you buddy , When shall we celebrate your new victories ?? I am eagerly waiting for  the party….” I said to him.

I rememer that evening stil so clearly , having this talk with my friend over the phone. I was watching moon playing hide & seek with clouds from my window , while my mom was calling me for dinner ,since half past hour.

I never imagined anything could go wrong in our lives , we were feeling too blissful , for that thought to cross our minds.But no one can predict such things , & somehow tragedy alwasys hits you when you are floating in your happiness.

The same thing happened with my friend , he lost someone too dear to him,&  his life is altered forever.

For a moment I was too shock to react, my mind couldn’t accept what it was hearing . Later that night I sat on my laptop scanning whatsapp, reading friends messages of what happened , how is the situation ,
I just sat in shock…. Trying to digest all those little facts & information . They are talking about this person,the person who is one of my closest friend …..he has been hurt.Therefore, I hurt.

How does one cope with such tragedy? How to fill that hole in your life?How to make the pain of losing somone go? How to accept the fact that person is never coming back?

Some wounds leave such deep scars imprinted , that can never be fully healed.Coz the absence of someone you grew to love, learned from, and got used to being there is something that takes time to adjust to.

“’You’ll get over it…’ It’s the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don’t get over it because ‘it’ is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not erased by anyone but death.

I don’t know what to think , so Deciding to trust in a loving God is the only way I can think of to deal with … even in the midst of a horrible tragedy … keeps me anchored.  Anchored doesn’t mean you don’t weep.  Anchored doesn’t mean it hurts less. Anchored doesn’t mean your heart sinks with every new bit of information about the incident. Anchored just means holding fast to the truth … despite all those things.

My heart is sad But My faith is strong.And this is what I am going to lend it to my friend. He still has loving family & loyal friends, who care for him, & will always be by his side. And with time the memories will have a different effect than it has right now.

 

What’s a soulmate ??

what's a soulmate

 

Last night I watched this movieThe Host” , & I am not here to talk about the movie or to give review about it , its just that watching that movie surfaced the question of soulmate in my tiny brain …. What’s a soulmate ? How do you know that is THE PERSON , or how does the whole idea of soulmate comes from ? And so I thought let me see what  the world has to say about it …. & I stumbled upon some quotes that really made a bit sense to me … although I still have some doubts , but this quotes tends to feed some of them …

Lilly Leery: What’s a soul mate?

Dawson: It’s uh… Well, it’s like a best friend, but more. It’s the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It’s someone who makes you a better person. Actually, they don’t make you a better person, you do that yourself because they inspire you. A soul mate is someone who you carry with you forever. It’s the one person who knew you and accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens, you’ll always love her. Nothing can ever change that. Make sense?

~ Dawson’s Creek

 

“A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life. ”

~Richard Bach

 

“When you’re soulmates, it hits you like lightning, and you know that’s the one person in the world you were meant to be with. You don’t think you’re soulmates; you just know it’s your destiny whether you like it or not.”

― L.J. SmithNight World, No. 1

 

“It amazes me that people think their soul mate is going to show up in their life at this predestined time and be this flawless person. A true soul mate is a mirror of yourself, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. Sure, they have a common upbringing, similar interests but they have the one thing you don’t have which is the introspection to help you become great. What use is a soul mate if they can’t help free you from yourself so you can live your life mission?”

― Shannon L. AlderNever or Forever

 

Moving on …. is difficult

moving on quotes

moving on quotes

 

Moving on is a difficult process , & I am not talking about any relationship , I am talking about life in general . When you have been steady for a long period of time , its difficult to adapt new change. Its like learning to walk all over again. You are scared to fall down , its not as easy as it was the first time , coz at that time , learning to walk was new to you , you didnt knew how it hurts when you fall down , you were to focused on the new feeling … But when you start it again , its not the same , you al ready know the feeling of falling hard , how badly it could hurt , & than you stop abruptly , the fear taking control over your , turning into the primal instinct. What do you do than ?? How do you move ??

It also gets frustrating with the more time passes , but you have to make a decision quick , coz time is such a tricky thing , it all depends on right timings ….

The last few days of my life have presented me with amazing opportunities, but opportunities that didn’t come without uncertainty. “Would this be a mistake if I did this?”, “I can’t afford to pass this up.”, “I can’t afford to mess this up.”, “What if things don’t go as planned?”

I have seen lot of opportunities in past , also taken some risks , & it was amazing new experience , but damn its also scary ..when deciding on which to choose … But they were small things , didn’t asked for big time commitments , neither had any influence of any other factors on it …But the ones I am facing now …. whoa … too big ….

As said by someone , the decisions you take in your 20’s make your life in 30’s …..

I’m reminded by another quote I recently came across, “Nothing is risker than not taking risks.”

I feel that this statement fits nicely right before the Mockbee quote. Decide on the risk, take it, then “proceed and be bold” moving forward…..

Gosh even this post in confusing … lolz…

Since quite a time my steps have been falling on unfamiliar and uneven turf; not a bad thing – different. I have always reached, but within that circumference of the familiar and reachable, never looking outside my “comfortable.” Today I am finding, I might have to  stretch my fingers into the mists of the unknown just outside that circle. I wonder if I should – just do it. !!!!

Another wise words I remember from somewhere : If circumstances have knocked you flat on your back, find your feet! Put one foot in front of the other, and moveon. ….

I guess this might be my answer …..

Weekly Photo Challenge: Fleeting ~ Train …

Weekly photo Challenge: Fleeting moment

 

There s something very peculiar about the fleeting moments , sometimes you don’t even realize you captured those moments , but when you do , you can feel a something different about it , its like those feeling shown in movies , everything around you is going in fast pace & only with you the time is slowing down …

Sometimes I want to try so many things at once , and when you go for one thing , you  might not reach for the next thing in the timeline , but you have to let it go , you have to enjoy where you are at the moment , without thinking or regretting  what next thing you are gonna see , living the small precious moments , which will eventually fly out , & turned into a hazy memory …

I now understand what Fleeting moments is all bout ….

The Uncertain path …

When I chose engineering it was meant to be the first step in a major ‘life overhaul’, a fresh start in pastures new, putting the past behind me and exploring new, exciting challenges and roles…

For the past 3 years of my life, I had always been so sure of what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. But now that I am older, more mature, and more aware of who I am as a person, I feel a career change is necessary. Although, this career change isn’t a drastic change from my original plan.I’m searching. And I guess I’m just looking for feeling. I want it to feel right.

Unlike many others, I’ve chosen to take in the experiences of students who are heads down in lives of their own. I’ve temporarily removed myself from my own environment, the place I normally call home (at least right now), to take in what someone else’s home is like. I’m on the outside looking in. It’s quite a feeling.

I’ve embarked on this exploration largely out of curiosity; I felt naturally pulled by some gravitational force from within, pulling me to discover that thing in life that elicits the response, ‘This is it’. This curiosity, combined with uncertainty, is a bit scary. But at the same time, it yields more result.

People say you should not go looking for answers , you just need to keep moving & you will be led to your answers eventually , thats what happens in novels atleast , so should I do that. Take the plate that’s served right now in front of me & keep going along …….. or Try a new path , find map ;

Well the decision is yet to be made , but I have already thought too much about everything , I think now , I am just gonna take action , whatever it will be , wherever it takes me , I won’t regret my choices . It reminds me of that poem we used to sing in our English music period. & I think thats a hint for me .The lines go somewhat like this :

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here’s what she said to me.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future‘s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

what to do !!!