I don’t have a whole lot to say today, at least not right now. Actually, that’s not true – I have a whole lot that I want to say, but I haven’t gotten the clarity I need to figure out what I should say, when I should say it, and how I should say it.
It happens one moment words are overflowing , & the next you are blank !
It’s like the black outs you have , you don’t remember the things that you don’t want to remember or sometimes the opposite the things that you really wish to remember , but you stand between the lines , you remember not so important things , that really doesn’t make sense.
I guess its about the mix feelings that push you to this condition , which is very frustrating as well as scary , you don’ t wanna go to that road , but than again you are not convinced to go the other way round either , its like either you will forgive or end up being Anakin .
You know its like those feeling when you can’t say it out loud , coz than it would be a BIG DEAL , but than again not saying or doing anything would kill you from inside , you can’t let the fire inside you burn the whole place down , & you can’t let it blow you either , you need to have that power to control it and let it out in a controlled manner …. yeah now I am getting somewhere ..
I know this post is very confusing & seems so random , but than thats how the state of my mind is, the words that are coming out just shows me how complicated the network inside is…but I need to let it out , if I shut down now , than I will never know , I don’t won’t to turn cold stone head or too dry , I would prefer loud …..
Even if I’m in a bad mood I don’t take it out on anyone, or at least try not to.I can’t fix everything I tried to fix that but it didn’t work I guess, I don’t believe in over analyzing thing , I think that s the reason everything gets messed up in the first place , it makes small things look like A BIG BLUNDER , but eventually its nothing , if you can just shrug it off , it would be lot easier for everyone … But I guess am the only one who looks at thing like that , & that makes me Odd one out >>>
Lolz, not the first time I have been out of the place , no matter how much I try to blend in , eventually I am reminded , I don’t belong in there , but no am not going to run , escape , hide , no , not this time , its time , I start taking actions for things I should have, I’ve become so cautious about not giving the wrong signals and not misinterpreting them. So I need things to be clear. : “Best defense is a good offense”~ Wolverine
I know the fact that I should probably write something high impact that makes sure to keep the positiveness of my posts , but than the truth is I should also be honest while I am writing so here it is
Sometimes we write for ourselves. Other times we write for other people. This time, I’m writing just to write.