Words…

wordsWords does not kill,
  It is a soul slowly screaming.
Words scratching away
 At the inside of your skull,
Sharp pains
 Like beady lifeless eyes;
Puncturing you into a hiss of submission.
 The poison is taunting, behind
A familiar reflection—
 (The enemy is inside)
Scrawling out shadows
 Of a wilted realm
Something else dwells within.
If you don’t get it out,
It will slowly eat you alive.
Each day is spent dismantling
Countless thoughts-
Beauty can be a mystery,
 When you exist in ruins
Advertisements

Quotes from a novel ~ Fearless (Ruin 2.5)

You know how you read a novel , and suddenly you have much more better vision of life , the effect it has on you that not even thousand of lectures or workshops had on you , & the urge to implement it in your life…

“Words can be like X-rays if you use them properly — they’ll go through anything. You read and you’re pierced.”
― Aldous HuxleyBrave New World

So here are the quotes from this novel : Fearless by Rachel Van Dyken

“The human heart beats around one hundred thousand times a day. It pumps over two thousand gallons of blood through over sixty miles of blood vessels in any given twenty-four hour period. The physical greatness would be staggering enough, given those facts. But the emotional capacity? Words can’t explain. Doctors can’t describe why certain parts of your heart react to anger, sadness, joy, and love. Why, when you laugh, your heart laughs with you. When you cry, your heart breaks for you. But the most amazing fact of all? How easily we give our heart away even with the knowledge that in another person’s hands you are the most vulnerable you will ever be. “—Wes Michels

523182b72a7b09cf5d8eb2111ca78116

 

 

“A love so deep. A love so wide. A love so extravagant—that even death wouldn’t deter me from an eternity by your side. Can you imagine that type of love, Kiersten? Can you fathom it? Well, can you?”—Wes Michels

cc5393e45300f8903b409143b36ab734

 

 

“The type of love that makes you want to laugh out loud—scream a bit—run in circles—and then repeat? Yeah that’s how I felt about Wes. Totally. Out. Of. Control. Giddiness.”—Kiersten

large (3)

 

 

“Plato believed that reasoning originated within the brain, but passion? Passion originated in what he called the fiery heart. Separate from all logic—fueled by blood, driven by passions. I for one, completely side with Plato, how else could I explain the way she made me feel? It went against logic. It went against life. Against death. It was transcendent.” —Wes Michels

large (4)

 

 

“It’s funny, we all have hearts, but do we ever truly listen to them? 

How often do we hear our hearts and stop to appreciate the fact that it’s been beating solid, strong, for our entire lives? God willing, your heart never stops until you finally die. It beats harder when you’re sick, it beats softer when you sleep, it beats harder again when you’re excited, and sometimes it physically hurts when you’re in pain.

Your heart isn’t just a muscle.

Though I’m sure people would disagree with me.

Your heart is everything. Why else would God ask for it first? I mean, why not ask for your mind? Your soul? Instead, God asks for our hearts. Our significant others ask for our hearts. Family…they ask for our hearts. Friends ask for our hearts.

It’s not just a muscle.

I truly believed that the heart stored the essence of everything a person possessed. The human body didn’t start with the brain or the legs…no…when we were conceived…the first thing doctors searched for?

The heartbeat.

When you get married…you don’t just ask for your wife’s hand. The first thing you search for? Her heart.

When you’re sick. The doctor doesn’t ask about your heart—he listens to it.

Seems to me like we’ve had it wrong all these years.

If you have a heart—I guarantee—there’s someone out there who wants it. Who’s searching for it. Who dreams about it.”

heartbeats & music

 

“Funny, how you think you can be totally over something. And then one tiny little thing happens and immediately you’re back to that place. I wondered if PTSD was like that.

You live your life every day, going through the motions, and then BOOM! Something suddenly happens to throw you off kilter and the only thing you want to do is go sit in a corner and rock back and forth.”

scared

 

 

“Just because you avoid something, doesn’t make it disappear. I think we’d like to imagine life works that way. But I’m sure if I went back home…everything would be just how I left it and I’d be bombarded with the same memories, the same regrets, the giant never really dies Kiersten, not until you throw the damn rock.”

fly

 

 

“I wonder how many times we think our lives are over—how many instances we scream at the top of our lungs when things aren’t going our way…how often, do you think, the reason for things not going our way is because there’s a bigger plan we can’t see yet? A bigger destiny we could have never possibly imagined for ourselves? Maybe…we’d be a lot happier, if we were silent more.” –Wes Michels

destiny

 

 

“Love is often measured unfairly. People throw the word around so flippantly that society rarely gets a true glimpse of what it means to love something—to love someone so much that it’s the basis for your entire existence. To love someone so much that you’d be willing to trade places—even in death. Well, I can’t imagine a stronger type of love than that of sacrifice.”

love

 

 

“We complete our lists together, we complete our life together. This is what we have to look forward to. Blank pages just waiting to be filled with our story. And the cool part? We don’t know what’s going to happen, but I can make a promise to you right now. Your hand’s going to be in mine the entire time. Kiersten, I swear to never let you go. Through sickness, through health, through happy times, through sad times. I’m yours.” – Wes 

…I could have lost my faith in that moment, instead I chose to believe that I couldn’t control the outcome and just trusted in the hand that was holding mine. Sometimes that’s all we have. A hand.

But most the time.

If we’re being completely honest with ourselves.

It’s all we really need…

wedding holding hands

 

 

“Our steps define us—whether they take us in the direction towards what we want the most—or away from what we love. Our entire lives are based on steps and stages. Funny thing, feet. You control them. –Kiersten Michels”

footsteps

 

 

“When you hear bad news it’s like a literal punch to the stomach—no seriously, your body will create a physical response to your emotional trauma. When you’re heartbroken—you’re chest will actually hurt. Doctors believe that it’s possible to die from heartache, kind of makes you wonder the opposite right? Take for example a heart that’s so full, so alive, so vibrant, so—overjoyed, that it decides to skip a beat, pump a little bit longer, a little bit harder, a little bit…more than the way it was created to be. I think that’s my heart—No I know that’s my heart. When I see Kiersten. My heart is the opposite of broken—it’s full.”—Wes Michels

heart

 

 

Skin. Just touching his skin, feeling his warmth, incredible how much it made me want to weep. Like, actually fall down on the ground and sob my eyes out because by touching his skin, by feeling that warmth, I knew he was alive and by knowing he was alive, I realized…being married to him? It was totally real. Funny, how sometimes we need to keep touching things so we know they’re real—even better? That I’d spend the rest of my life touching him, touching Wes Michels. And every touch would remind me, that blood flowed through his veins, that his heart beat strong, that it beat in perfect cadence with mine. —Kiersten

hugging

 

 

“The battle is in your head. The minute you start giving power to those thoughts you’ve already lost. Fear wins. Don’t let fear win, Kiersten. Love—our love—it can’t flourish where fear is present. Do you get what I’m saying?” 

More tears, and then a muffled, “No.”

Chuckling, I squeezed her harder. “This could be my last night on this earth. I could choose to be afraid and hole up in a hotel room or I could live. Remember you always have a choice. Don’t let your mind cripple what your heart already knows to be true.

together

 

Emotions are a funny thing. They drive us to either make good or bad choices, they can either make our day or ruin it. Emotions for the most part cant’ be trusted because a lot of times, they help us justify our own bad behavior. They allow us to stay mad at someone, to take offense, to keep forgiveness at bay because we’ve been hurt or are still hurting. That’s why, I can honestly say, when I look at Kiersten? It’s not my emotions speaking—but my heart. Because the heart is pure in its pursuit—whereas your emotions can cause you to stumble. Why in the hell would I want to stumble in the race towards owning every part of her soul?”—Wes

love her

 

“Love is beautiful. A gift from God. I think it’s sad, how easily we throw around the word without actually understanding the sacrifice behind its meaning. Love in its definition isn’t about a strong feeling towards someone, but an action. If people truly understood what it was—our world would be changed. Love is sacrifice, it’s holding someone’s hand even though you know they can’t feel it, like Gabe did with Kimmy. Love’s watching someone lose all their hair, and still finding them to be the most beautiful person you’ve ever come across. Love is more action than feeling…Love, isn’t just the way Wes looks at me, but the way he serves everyone around him as if he is nothing—and they are everything.”—Mrs. Weston Michels”

charm bracelet

 

“The thing about memories? They store in your brain. You can go a lifetime thinking you’re totally fine and then boom, something triggers said memory and all of a sudden you’re in the fetal position. My memory had always been really good—something I hated about myself because right now, I really, really wanted to have amnesia. —Lisa”

memories

 

And ending it with my own words … you should chase your dreams , fall in love head over heels coz there is no point in loving with half heart , don’t let the world deicde your fate , and smile coz you are worth it … you deserve happiness … live life to fullest .

The grief of losing someone forever ….

Losing someone

 

“My Life is perfect , Luck is in my Favor  , What more could I ask from God …” my friend said.

“I am so happy for you buddy , When shall we celebrate your new victories ?? I am eagerly waiting for  the party….” I said to him.

I rememer that evening stil so clearly , having this talk with my friend over the phone. I was watching moon playing hide & seek with clouds from my window , while my mom was calling me for dinner ,since half past hour.

I never imagined anything could go wrong in our lives , we were feeling too blissful , for that thought to cross our minds.But no one can predict such things , & somehow tragedy alwasys hits you when you are floating in your happiness.

The same thing happened with my friend , he lost someone too dear to him,&  his life is altered forever.

For a moment I was too shock to react, my mind couldn’t accept what it was hearing . Later that night I sat on my laptop scanning whatsapp, reading friends messages of what happened , how is the situation ,
I just sat in shock…. Trying to digest all those little facts & information . They are talking about this person,the person who is one of my closest friend …..he has been hurt.Therefore, I hurt.

How does one cope with such tragedy? How to fill that hole in your life?How to make the pain of losing somone go? How to accept the fact that person is never coming back?

Some wounds leave such deep scars imprinted , that can never be fully healed.Coz the absence of someone you grew to love, learned from, and got used to being there is something that takes time to adjust to.

“’You’ll get over it…’ It’s the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don’t get over it because ‘it’ is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not erased by anyone but death.

I don’t know what to think , so Deciding to trust in a loving God is the only way I can think of to deal with … even in the midst of a horrible tragedy … keeps me anchored.  Anchored doesn’t mean you don’t weep.  Anchored doesn’t mean it hurts less. Anchored doesn’t mean your heart sinks with every new bit of information about the incident. Anchored just means holding fast to the truth … despite all those things.

My heart is sad But My faith is strong.And this is what I am going to lend it to my friend. He still has loving family & loyal friends, who care for him, & will always be by his side. And with time the memories will have a different effect than it has right now.

 

Back in the Game

Sometimes you get so tired , exhausted , that you leave everything behind & go on a vacation …
the first few days are AWESOME , you feel relived ….
but than you also know the fact you can’t live a VACATION forever , you need to get back …
& you realize that when something HITS you …
A flash , or a pop up , or a punch …

And than You are back in the Game , that’s what you are made for  , that’s what you are good at , sometimes there will be  rough patch , you might not feel you are yourself , you might get doubts , but that’s the tough times that you have to deal with, those are the times when you realize your strengths , that’s the time you become more strong …

You know you might feel you can’t do this anymore ,that you are out of practice , give yourself sometime to adjust , its basic human nature to feel out of the game when you don’t get to practice for a couple of days , but believe me , you never forget how to play once you have already mastered it.

You need to catch up with the updates , what you have missed when you were gone , you need to learn the new things , you have to keep your options open , you are good at the basics , now all you have to do adjust is to the updated version.

Maybe you have to form new strategies , but remember the methods you learned in your old school will be the one guiding you in crisis time . Stick up with the basics & you will do good .

Gear up for the next round >>>

Clouded Thoughts

I don’t have a whole lot to say today, at least not right now. Actually, that’s not true – I have a whole lot that I want to say, but I haven’t gotten the clarity I need to figure out what I should say, when I should say it, and how I should say it.
It happens one moment words are overflowing , & the next you are blank !

It’s like the black outs you have , you don’t remember the things that you don’t want to remember or sometimes the opposite the things that you really wish to remember , but you stand between the lines , you remember not so important things , that really doesn’t make sense.

I guess its about the mix feelings that push you to this condition , which is very frustrating as well as scary , you don’ t wanna go to that road , but than again you are not convinced to go the other way round either , its like either you will forgive or end up being Anakin .

You know its like those feeling when you can’t say it out loud , coz than it would be a BIG DEAL , but than again not saying or doing anything would kill you from inside , you can’t let the fire inside you burn the whole place down , & you can’t let it blow you either , you need to have that power to control it and let it out in a controlled manner …. yeah now I am getting somewhere ..

I know this post is very confusing & seems so random , but than thats how the state of my mind is, the words that are coming out just shows me how complicated the network inside is…but I need to let it out , if I shut down now , than I will never know , I don’t won’t to turn cold stone head or too dry , I would prefer loud …..

Even if I’m in a bad mood I don’t take it out on anyone, or at least try not to.I can’t fix everything I tried to fix that but it didn’t work I guess, I don’t believe in over analyzing thing , I think that s the reason everything gets messed up in the first place , it makes small things look like A BIG BLUNDER , but eventually its nothing , if you can just shrug it off , it would be  lot easier for everyone … But I guess am the only one who looks at thing like that , & that makes me Odd one out >>>

Lolz, not the first time I have been out of the place , no matter how much I try to blend in , eventually I am reminded , I don’t belong in there , but no am not going to run , escape , hide , no , not this time , its time , I start taking actions for things I should have,  I’ve become so cautious about not giving the wrong signals and not misinterpreting them. So I need things to be clear. : “Best defense is a good offense”~ Wolverine

I know the fact that  I should probably write something high impact that makes sure to keep the positiveness of my posts , but than the truth is I should also be honest while I am writing so here it is

Sometimes we write for ourselves. Other times we write for other people. This time, I’m writing just to write.

 

 

The Untold truth …..

There are things that cannot, indeed must never, be said. It is one of the cardinal rules that bind us to our social compact. Anyone with an ounce of sense in their head knows this. It’s one of those open secrets that so frustrate the philosophers of mind – the crusty men in tweed jackets who labour so hard to deduce in ever decreasing circles of logic what the rest of us simply know. That your mind is not so very different to mine. Give or take the odd eccentricity. That we can, and do, know each other’s minds.

Like any inviolable rule, it must first be broken in order for its nature to be revealed. And this is what our teenage years are for, of course. That intemperate period of our lives in which the visceral passions spew forth and darkness traces its first outline under our eyes. A time when we are all Heathcliffs, when we are crotchety and brooding and questioning of the established order of things.

Just because they are words never spoken doesn’t mean that they are feelings never felt. Nobody has it easy, everybody has problems.But than the time plays a very essential key ingredient in the situation. The emotions hidden behind that sturdy face, does n’t always mean hypocrisy. It s the untold universal law that binds the person with the moral reasoning that has to be conserved.

I know the para ‘s i wrote hear doesn’t make quite a sense , but than that s the irony they are the unsayable words , and the keyword is to figure out yourself with your own experience , a hint : check out your own personal diary , and see what are the words that you never said , but screamed at the top of your voice inside …..

Thought Of the day :

Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.
Fyodor Dostoevsky